of men and matters

07Apr05

Over the past weekend I was reading Why men don’t listen and women can’t read maps. That was a revelation of sorts. It did teach me a thing or two on the biggest mistake every man (oh yeah, me too) does – trying to offer solutions every time a woman tries to talk the hell out of her self to him.

I felt parents generally discourage daughters to involve with work predominantly considered male domain. When was the last time your bike was serviced by a female mechanic? But it all seems to be in the genes, according to the book.

Another interesting thing the book claims is, the male stimuli responds to objects, while the female to humans and that’s why male orientation is more towards status and power, while female orientation is more towards love and relationships. Women certainly seem more committed than men in a marital relation (or any relation). It’s easy to lose count of wives who endure an insensitive husband, but how many men really ever required to handle an inconsiderate wife. But yeah, she might be inconsiderate because “he” thinks so!

This happened some weeks back. I was at Innovative with R to watch Page 3. R happened to meet her colleague and his wife while we were waiting for the show. R asked the wife ‘which movie?’. The wife says ‘I don’t know, he brought me that’s it’. The guy was parking his bike and joined in and said he was there to watch Thirupachi. I told them it was not showing there, but at PVR. ‘So, switching to some other movie?’ asked R. The guy says ‘No.. we are going back.. bye’ and walks back to his bike closely pursued by his wife, who just had enough time to tell her bit of ‘bye’ to the husband’s colleague . The wife doesn’t even know what movie they came to see, but just sticks to the whims and fancies of her dear husband. And as for the guy, wonder if he was thinking his wife his personal robot!

It’s all in the gene alright! But don’t tell me you forced your wife into quitting job to sit at home cooking because she is not genetically tuned to work and because you are genetically tuned only to order her. Or you assume it’s the wife’s job to bother about your children because your genes says so. Or you least heed your wife’s interests and aspirations because you are genetically more tuned to think logically, and so it’s only you – the husband – who knows what is right!

It’s all in the gene alright! The man’s inherent need for status and power (read ‘ego’) and his biologically superior muscular prowess often tends to get him overboard with the so-called lowly creatures called women.

It’s all in the gene alright! But it’s all in the minds of men and women whether they choose to be adaptable to each other. The gene is only a blue print. A willingness to understand and a willingness to let go is what moulds the real image.

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